Keegan, a Toilet and Why England Supporters Must Cherish This Era

Bog Standard

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and milestones, especially in relation to football. What a delight it was to learn that a prominent writer a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Reflect for a moment regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom rather too directly, and was rescued from a deserted Oakwell following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat by Fleetwood. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And nobody can overlook when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to access the restrooms in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then came in and was asking the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told the Manchester Evening News. “Subsequently he wandered round the campus as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down as the England coach following a short conversation inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat by Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he entered the drenched beleaguered England dressing room directly following the fixture, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the official to reason with Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a blank expression, and Davies found him slumped – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to save the circumstance.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of a venue scheduled for destruction. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, eventually revealing he viewed his period as Three Lions boss “without spirit”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those Wembley toilets and those two towers have long disappeared, whereas a German currently occupies in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

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Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We hardly glanced at one another, our looks wavered slightly nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to oversee the primary team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles.

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|